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Thursday, March 26, 2009

8th snow in Qiqihar, China, in lunar 2009, turned bright sunny after noon


yesterday almost a tiny sunny day. the Internet access via lan proxy all down, likely the switch or router on nearest join point disconnect my wire. and my sites, including homepage on google pages (http://www.be21zh.org ) and on my domain registrar godaddy (http://be21zh.org ), my blogs on blogger (http://benzillar.blogspot.com or http://songdod.blogspot.com ), my google app engines on appspot ( http://forum.be21zh.org orhttp://app21zh.appspot.com ), my google apps sites under my custom domain mapping ( http://zhuson.be21zh.org orhttp://wiki.be21zh.org ), all down and inaccessible when i tried to test them on an office pc when its user absent. the dog in China surveillance really hurt, since my repolishing my homepage on google pages and godaddy, after seeing their layout mythterously messy on Monday this week. dog blocked my correcting operation on godaddy the afternoon before yesterday sweatily, just when i doing editing the page. surely they smelled denotation in my posts online.
yesterday in office i mostly reading ebook, on Christian and wealth source of modern society. i also dozed and deep. i dreamed of my once girl friend, a Liu, and her mother. but ema, my baby's mother, seemingly merged with the Liu. the relation in dream on the rim of broken, but we tried to keep it. returning home after work, i found ema reconciled with me after last night i scorn her insistence to force baby having pills in 2 hours, and told baby the truth of his mom. later she told me the broadband access is extended and ready, after she adopt the service from one of her colleague who want to ditch hers, leaving 12 months available to migrate to my account, at a favorable cost of ¥400. but login has problem. after a buzz into the telcom help desk, i was connected to Internet again at home, but my sites blocked by cop don't leave blank or errs page as before, but tentatively shown on page saying the sites was filtered by the authority of surveillance. later returning page from google saying the sites unavailable or untrusted, etc. dog in China surveillance surely took actions just the night before yesterday. God laughs in their terrors.
last night my family life is ok, baby enjoyed playing pc game with me, while ema again persuade baby having pills and i rebuffed once, except the dirty conspire over my new broadband service, and my web activities in closer surveillance. i had the sense of a new snow in the night, and it did in the night. this morning after i got up, i watched out at once and found a shallow snow covering the earth. i know that's Masheng's great gift from Japan, also Gift of Jamie from America. the white story tells me that my beloved all genius and saint and clear&clean like dews, just like God promised me. i love u, all my fiancees.
this post is the first one under more crucial surveillance of China. i can't see it on my blogs on blogger.com, i can't see most of my sites several days ago accessible. i can only rely on my email posting and check it in my google reader's rss subscriptions. God sees my beloved shares my gossip with them here, like any spirit God conveys, in any tiny matters or inconceivable trifle phenomenon or pulse. God win me u all. that's it.

Monday, March 23, 2009

7th snow in lunar 2009, bright day now.


baby watched movie.

snow on rim of window.

baby watched movie.

its weekend. but the gloomy morning let us at a lose. the tv shown the China authority, or the cadre group, is the only boss of Chinese enterprise. the anxious of being buried by the prevailing service of the cadre group in China for many millelliums haunted me, and sneered at me that ruling the mop was the same business everywhere, no difference between democracy and autocracy. the snow, the 7th in lunar 2009, started to snow near noon. i reviewed my beloved, and felt urgenter to meet them. i dozed and slept for more than 2 hours in the afternoon, while baby and ema gaming on pc. after woke up i got angry with ema for she recently seldom cook vegetables and my lips suffered&torn by drought, likely lack of green food or vitamin. but i know that's all God's settings, and nothing can harm me. after dinner, baby played games happily as usual. ema and me sometimes join him when he requested. the night was joyful. this morning i again dreamy and restless for urgency of urine. when i got up i found at once its brightly sunny. i was so consoled by her beaming face, that i picked camera at once after let pc downloading. i love my camera and my notebook, esp. the sunshine.

this morning i dreamed of my feet infected by 3 kinds of virus, a tall person likely help me. a swim pool likely in my dream.

last night my kid brother, who worked in south China and with whom i asked for loan for my second game notebook, almost refused me by suggesting my applying expense card from bank. i know my request in God's view.

today its a bright sunny day. i took some photos of gaming baby and the brightness and its shadows.

update: last night baby's cold got severer, and heat attacked him in the night. ema went outside lately to buy white wine and applied to baby's body to decrease his heat. this morning already sees the brightness of the sunshine. God with my Royal.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

6th snow in lunar 2009, starting life with notebook

snow street

snow scene: students for school.

my niche in office.

yesterday was my first time bring my favorite notebook, a Hasee notebook, to work in office. the morning i found the proxy offered by a women colleague's husband refusing connection. i felt its time to do some more readings into ebooks i collected so many. tech news i enjoyed previously so much can be followed via offline function of google products, like gmail, google calendar, google reader, etc, all offer offline function, including this post. i ditched the legend pc offered by QRRS, my once employer, and cleared my desk for my notebook. in the last afternoon, i started to enjoy reading ebook on software architecture. but the woman colleague soon visited my office and dialed to let her husband to resume proxy for me. in the night baby played pc game all night. we, ema and me, all enjoyed the game with baby.
this snow, the 6th in lunar 2009, is a surprise for me. for i didn't felt too much dirt to cleanse. last noon i got the idea to buy a new game machine notebook, to name it, a Hasee Grace HP640, which equipped with dvd-rw, independent video card with 128m memory, 2g ram, just a dreamed box. i discussed it with ema at noon, but she sneezed at me as usual as anything concerning money. in the night i tried to contact my kid brother in south China for assistance but failed. the cellphone number offered by my elder sister in my home town also in valid. that's my sunny yesterday.
this snow is sure a blessing upon my idea that i can and should own 2 Hasee notebooks. one for work, one for game. one for mobile and office, one for home and entertain. one for me and one for future baby son, warrenGod and hope of China, if i depart from him temporarily. i surely will soon see my second Hasee (the brand Chinese name "神舟") notebook toward my biz on the earth on behalf of God.
yesterday after i got Internet access again, i also doubting if i should strike a blog entry for my favorite Hasee notebook's first time accompanying me in office, but i felt i will spent more time doing research with my plenty ebooks, and take a deeper attitude toward my presence on web in coming time, so i gave up. now i know that my most beloved want me to announce the great moment of our being together in business. i m proud of u, my dear.
its second time since yesterday i bring my camera and my notebook in one pack. i hope i sooner live with my best belovedgirl Masheng and girls zhous. i live to live with u together and with pure light entertain from Heaven. that's my vision.

Monday, March 16, 2009

baby bathed in warm early spring night


This days family life restored to harmony. baby accepted to join kindergarten in day time, and energetically engaged in gaming in night. i read and search for resources to download, and made index of them. i sees no harsh in God's setting.

last night baby son was bathed. soon after bath he asked to watch a Chinese war movie, "assembly", and got a bit cold. its really a enjoyable moment for the family to see growth.

dogs in office biting all days, last Friday they should saw their failure fatally. they r in fact the dead. i got view that the dead female, Fang, ceased to pest my family, and my baby now under my beloveds' attending, which r full of love and pleasure.

last night God's way again haunted my dream, in which i likely reviewed my affair with my once girl friend, a Liu, when i studied in Nankai Univ., i got know that how fertility important for my Royal and people, how fertile female loveable than any others with other merits.

its sunny now, since morning, in which i dozed for some time till a guy visiting the office and interrupted my mindlessliness. then all the morning busy with trying find a solution for my English version windows xp to support Chinese, and email client to support gmail&yahoo. i see the light after days of finetune.

ok, its a nice day to babble here with u, my most beloved. returning to normal life can mean lose for me, for in the moment i heard ur call was such a loving feeling that i don't want miss. i forever love u and looking every possibility to reunite with u, to start my new life.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

5th snow in Qiqihar after dirt and dark recently

street view of Qiqihar in sunset.

5th snow in Qiqihar in lunar 2009.

snow scene outside of my office of QRRS.

rush time near QRRS, Qiqihar.

these days pragmatic thoughts haunted my mind a lot. dogs around biting heavily. they started to conspire against my family, esp. baby's mother, emakingir. last night a dog in family name Jiang, rabbled with ema on land phone for quite some time, and dirty the house and its atmospher with ill willes. ema always a tiny but active player, in her social stage, with her full force of tactics. i disliked her poor and cheat resource, but taught her no less lessons in the early years after our marrage. all in vain. she desperate for her show, quite some ingredience of feminism, under the influence of her evil mother. that's all gone with the 5th snow, which can kill and did. snow in every corner can bring prosperous and auspicious. i love snow and known its greatest gift from my beloved in Japan. i longing in reunion with u, my dearest.
today is a bit messy. i preparing migrating my email client from foxmail to thunderbird. and lots of things awaiting to settle down. but still i saw the light foldered just in a corner. i will neat my space with more readiness.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

family treated on Women's Day

its a shinny day today. i see no cloud ahead.yesterday's snow likely mostly melt under the sunshine this moment. i also see my fortune to switch to a brighter way.

this morning i busy with push my home video on International Women's Day to public. in the movie we dinned out in a nearby restaurant. i always glad to see my baby, warren zhuthe hope of China, in focus. he is just so rightly charming. he belongs to the universe he governs, also the world belongs to him, so its my duty to let the world look upon him here, like the light tower in torrential seas.

more about "family dined out on Women's Day", posted with vodpod

Monday, March 9, 2009

4th snow in Qiqihar&its eve on Women's Day

baby in game.

A Japanese style house built by Japanese invaders now occupied by a high rank cadre of the ruling party.

we ready to treat ourselves for Women's Day upon ema's suggestion.

statue of China tourism on Qiqihar Railway Station's garden

these days i a bit idle, waiting for something. ema reconciled and did her part of duty swiftily. i sorted my stuff and prepared for something. Yesterday is International Women's Day, ema claimed we will dine out, near 5 pm. a cop on his bike awaiting just outside of the garden near emakingir's house, and left before we arrived the cross of the road near he stood. i shot some photos in meal in a nearby restaurant. when we left a single female departing before us and let me doubting if she wanted to show me something. the night at home was peaceful, ema played game for 2 or more hours, while baby watched aside. i watched tv. when we went to bed, its warm still. but in dawn i listened to the wind whirling and very sleepy. when i got up i guessed it snown. after seeing the new snow i picked up my camera again. its 4th time i brought my camera with me in office. now the sunshine like the golden sugar liquid, and warm like baby's soft and wet palms. and i know i was blessed and saved. my fiancees, my most concerned, coming closer than any time when in barriers. 

Friday, March 6, 2009

snow of yesterday melting in warm early lunar spring

its quite bright in the morning. when i got up and caught sight of the warm sunrise, i doubting if i carry my camera with me. last night ema shown reconcilation with me after i rebuff her attempt to trap baby in her cliche teaching method. in the night i reviewed quite some details in my life of love and proud of my beloved. baby again push his way on bed, between ema and me, and i slept aside my pillar to make space for baby, who took my pillar like last night. its all bright except ema returned lately at noon and didn't cook for me, instead ate yesterday's porridge and pickers. i doubting if she and China surveillance adopt their old cheat, of crying me for money to support baby son, warren, as well as myself. the old cheat previously edged me out from ema's home and the illusion of my starving baby distressed me hopelessly and forced me retreat to my home town penniless, and finally was trapped in a local asylum in my home town, central China. but that can't work again, nothing can't change my faith in God, and his superpower to see my Royal in glory on behalf of him, the only all in all and final in final. my life and my kingdom to reclaim on eastern Asia, just a preset from God, and in full fledge since the holy spirit stroke me when i immersed in love without any reservations. in no way creatures on the earth can harm me, nor to my Royal and beloved. my fiancees, with their respected families respectively, already in line with my angels ahead of me, as well as the prophets constantly sharpening foresight for the brave and praying, laiding fundamental works for God's biz on this land, full in God's view, awaiting my touch to reinvent vitality into the scary people and their dirty homeland.
its a nice day, since its dawngays in the office let my legs cold, by their bloodless corps. evils this moment in a rush. that's near their end of time. sunshine, like ur beaming faces, my beloved, will blossom in the coming season under the heaven, all in God's shine.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

benark route 03/05/2009

Posted from Diigo. The rest of my favorite links are here.

3rd snow in Qiqihar, China, in lunar 2009

the 3rd snow in lunar 2009 descending since mid morning, just leaving yesterday's sunshine in the past. last night i tried to post a blog entry i wrote in office before the end of work time, but China surveillance heavily blocking and spying my posting on home pc. so much dirty i guessed in the process, that a snow this morning needed to cover its smelliness. when i left home in the morning, its just dripping, but gradually turned into a strong snow. i felt the threat of spying eyes on home pc upon my web credential, but more felt blessed in the drizzle. i esp. loving the shallow sorrow mood rains bring to me, as a life memory when i grew up in rains plenty central China, where my home town locates.

this morning i continued to post latest blog entry to more channels of my web presence. dirty from the ill persons around constantly challenged me, they r dead in fact. i shot some picture in office, now that i second time brought my camera, a FujiFilm FinePix S2000HD with me at noon, for the snow and my long time dream to everywhere with another eye of witness. i hope u can see the factual snow scene here.

ok, i don't intend to babble more. ema still in bitter with me. i hold no brief for anyone with a profiting eyes upon holy thing. i toward and more and more inward with glory i deserve.

seeing return of my dad, God, in dream

these days ema again colder shoulders to me. that let me review my situation for more than an hour yesterday. but i finally settled, after seeing her dark and sin. however after i woke up from a later doze in office, i felt sad. i don't want to hurt her, and i know she under pressure and distress exceeding her constrain. her reckons and the demon influence from her mother, with a family name ruan, the same syllables can means in Chinese soft, appeared in my mind and i felt i can do nothing except letting her to choose in silent action. i follow God's way and in no way to fear men's choice, no matter upon my way on the earth nor on other matters concerning me or my beloved. God saves the faith, in his creatures on the earth.

however, silent dispute at home let me sad, i esp felt sad upon the time i can be with my best beloved, warren, my baby son, my God, and the hope of China, who brings me so pleasure now and then, here and there. i mean to change, but don't figure to tear off our band in harmony with pains or bleedings. however, after all, i trust God sees my way ahead, over any unclear.

last afternoon in instant message i got known the mother-in-law of my second elder sister passed away. her husband also in family name ruan, the same as that of ema's mother, God lets it interwove and sins to die in sins they committed. in the night i likely caught in a nightmare in which the old woman exert fear in me. then my passed dadmy God and my forever hero, returns home, just like missing a gathering and be late awhile. His seat just there unchanged.

that's my highest pleasure, to see my dad in my dream. i didn't attend his funeral ceremony, and that led my always unease. i know he love me so much and i know he glad to see my absence from him in the end of his life on the earth, knowing me in the road to reclaim our vested land of China in title of family name zhu, and the only son doing the predefined task in sight of our ancestorthe Emperor of Ming Dynasty.

its a bright day today. God knows how i cherish the bright and warmth. these days Chinese laid off a lot in sinking enterprises in troubled economy, like occur in other parts of the world. i know God see its a way leading me through the block behind, toward the reunion with my all beloved girls, my crowned queens.

bye. that's my utterance today. i love seeing my space extending, like the wind spreading the message. love make u glad, just like it do me. i love u.