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Thursday, June 11, 2009

a busy week, nephew returned from college entrance exam&join cyberlife here.

From Family&folks ∑ hometown journey
the Chicken sex changer, a demon my mother attempted to treat

From Family&folks ∑ hometown journey
my mother in breakfast.

its nice cool morning. last night i really painful when i dreamed of the suffering of my baby and my Royal. i envisaged the dictator of China devised a conspire, let my alone spend at will while my expending all at cost of my family's fixed income. if i eat and play well,then they suffered lost and pain. the authority surveillance it and only me don't know the plot. the imaging i saw many times in my distressed time before fall into asylum, i never afford to see my Royal suffering, and that let me fight on 2 front lines and broke me apart several times. it drizzled since dusk just after i visited toilet and sat in the front yard of my dad's house and started to sing. it lasted when i busy in night to claiming myself another facebook account, benzillar land. i decided in dream that return to Qiqihar to care baby soon after it turns daytime. but after woke up the anxiety decreased and my faith in the Mightiest God resumes. i know that God wouldn't let my Royal under his shine suffer the evils the demon in China exerts, God wouldn't let me in dark any more helplessly. if he want to alert me something, i can know but usually not great fear or distress. the most time of following God should be joy and peace.

its a nice morning now. i can anticipate some sunshine later. rain day really beautiful and let me productive. i know Masheng for whom i stayed here waiting for 4 months likes to introduce girl lǔ to me, let me review her love in the past years in the rain. the night before last night, i told baby my girls prepared villas in Taibei, Beijing, Shanghai, Wuhan, Nanjing, for our gathering to come. he giggled and likely his mother, ema, also listening. baby these days yet don't want to talk me online. 

its a long road leading me to God's shine, but not a slow way to God. decided to follow God not always peaceful, sometimes it can rock/torn u out of track, like the several moments my heart torn by imagery dilemma in which my beloved&myself can't move or respond but just suffering pains of helplessness. they r all God's show on me before i find the way toward his door. God loves true love, and true lover. like the bible says, there is only spirit in the world. anything just a load of the spirit.

ok, its a nice morning to disclose my distress, and difference a faith in God brings. i always in need to declare, that i forever follow God, no matte how the seeing and delusion how can persuading my urgent action to save my beloved. i love God, the only creator of Universe and the Mightiest. glory forever belongs to him and never a devil can leave a smog on it. i never want to live in fear and unbalanced.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

a media reply


From Family&folks ∑ hometown journey
My elemental school teacher, a villager, now a boss of concrete products.

From Still lifes (3) ∑ hometown journey
front door view of my past dad's house.

below is a reply i wrote on Jun 5, 2009,  in answer of an inquiry from a site, ThisIsDiversity, about my some opinion on China surveillance. i glad to see emerging chance to be opener.

 

Doug Cress suggested that I contact you. My name is Julia Garrison and I am ThisIsDiversity's Special Features Reporter.  I would love to learn more about your situation as a journalist in China: the topic of internet censorship is one that I find extremely problematic. It would be great to get your story on this  highly debated issue so that I could write an article informing people around the world about what is happening in your country.

 

What kind of restrictions are placed on Journalists in China?

i m not a journalist, i worked once for a state-owned enterprise and work in its cable tv branch, designing heading and caption. i never got any promotion even i think my work was marvellous. gradually i got clear the invisible constrain cast on me. after a dispute with the director of the department, i got kicked from my professional position, instead i was assigned a job in the title of "temporary worker", one reason why i was not laid off was in China enterprises not encouraged to do so, but i think deeper review is that the state intelligent want to keep me in cage to observe. now i work full time on cyberspace, with my first domain, be21zh.org at http://www.be21zh.org , i got 3 years ago.
China has now 3 main portals in its Internet service. 2 built by returned Chinese graduate or post-graduate from American universities, ie. sina.com and sohu.com , in my view they offer nothing but exotic/vulgar news. another is built in Guangzhou, southern China, by a Chinese graduated within China. all of them in my view quite flat. they never die, unlike yahoo or those startups in US. they services, like email, blog, album, alumni, none deserve a compare with that of American isp, but never one can imagine their quit. for in China, most important is u granted to live by the authority, but not u r better survived.

there is no news in my view in China, for almost all medias belong to the state, and through state-owned enterprise and affiliate office to the government departments, most Chinese don't have the freedom of finding a alternative job in free job market, which only belong to peasants work temporarily in City to build or maintain the less bright part of the life of city(even in this market peasants were yet fined). anyone in mainland China lives in fear and insecure for their life and living decided by the higher cadre and finally the state, which in fact a dictator with a police mind set. in fact, in most common people's view, the journalist in China never enjoy the respect they should or does in freedom world, for most people know their job is a kind of brag of officer among Chinese social ladder. they work in boring and planned, and earn some additional money, like quite some positions in China society which breeds bribery rampant,  from paid news, nothing creative or independent, nor respectable/responsive.

In your experience, how does the average Chinese citizen react to the restrictions placed on Journalists?

most Chinese just endured and waiting for a hitchhike toward a better politically architectured new China. they learned from generations that the leader and first out-standing risk most, they kept themselves distant from the bureaucrat which can profane and absorb any gifted mind, charging their life for thousand years in China history, with envy and hatred. and quite some part of the mob in Chinese society was bought by the ruling squad and live in abnormal psychological set and darkened belief. that likely why in China recent history they chose violence rather than God. they immersed themselves in the virtual potent from group or blood links, to evade the natural call of mercy upon unfair and bully and indifferent pervading in nowadays China mainland. in some gauge Chinese in mainland don't have average, the government these years spent a lot to buy services in rural area, in student group, in youth, with state resource to divide the previous wild hatred class. in some ways Chinese people in mainland now quite and only recognize the green paper, the money, that can improve their life a bit and only a bit, for any further plan unstable, just like the upper building and the doctrine, both based on disappearing smoke-alike clouds of lies.
 

What are the consequences of Journalists who speak out?

the government tighten the spread of news of its victims. quite some cases well-known were journalists in southern China media reporting death as result in government's failure got fired or separate in glass house of alien. there is no bone nor backbone at all in China journalists or journalism. punishment never disclosed. the afford from the victims and all invisible constrains cast on them, never can spread out to social commonsense nor turn clear. that's rightly the effect of terror the dictator want to exert.
 

Do you know of any journalists that have been censored by the Chinese Government?

first, there is very rare in Chinese licensed journalists who still had the self-responsibility for the right, for the independence. second, if there is standout, u don't know, for that forever their last struggle before their free fall into noname.

 

What kinds of bans or restrictions have been placed on internet use and what, if any, reasons does the government give for these restrictions?

every computer in Internet cafes within China mainland with their own watch dog, every web accessed  equipments registered and under the surveillance, with their only id. if there is something clear in the dictating country like China mainland, that's the only one: everyone, men or thing, has its individual secret log, maintained and focused by the dog dominated country, with its ruling hand.

 

How do you get around the restrictions? Do you think China will change its policies?

years ago i tried proxy and sometimes work. but these days the technology adopted by China Internet cop more and more stronger and failed more and more proxies. the machine dog team boast its tech to apply for its bonus bone from the dog-minded dictator, so it wouldn't loose its reign, never, before their total collapse.
 

What is your goal for China regarding free speech?

i live in God's shine, and never worry the future of China in my best wish. God saves and only he has the final word. i live with peace in the view of the end of the dirty state power theft. they can be also included in God's set for China's march toward ONE World within he glads. 

How does your faith in God relate to this goal?

i in depth belief of God, Christian God, i was educated from distress of love with a beautiful tall Chinese collegian. i was educated by spiritual ebook written by American. i know now i was chosen to follow my fate, to resume his glory, to resume my ancestor's glory, on this old land. i can be meaningless like a wind or breeze, i can be weighted as the highest monument people and people to arrive had to raise their heads to watch. i don't assert my deed in the world, but i assert i forever in shine.
 

How do the restrictions on journalists and internet censorship relate to the Tiananmen Square massacre that occurred on June 4, 1989?

 u can google, which also under surveillance in China and bring less result page than u can. a google group at https://groups.google.com/group/fans i can mention, even quite trifle, but u can read complains and curses upon the surveillance and 6.4 special blockage, if u can read Chinese. even in the group, there is i guess spy from the state intelligent.
 
BTW, i want post this email to my blog, at http://benzillar.blogspot.com .i can delay posting after u make usage of it. i wait for ur response and do it before next Monday, in ur curtsy.

best wishes,
benzrad

 
benzyrnill, set to fly - do it, make it.
mobile:+8615845661821
skype:benzyrnill
yahoo:benzradi
icq:134279664
gtalk:dabbog@gmail.com
QQ: 570503557
dabbog@gmail.com

盲言之芒岩
你在清贫中呆得太久了
你分不清月色的石子和清癯的星
眸子的星芒浮于薄霭
厌倦的兽眼阴雨里低低沉吼

http://be21zh.org


Wednesday, May 20, 2009

drizzle since last afternoon, heavenly love.

drizzle since last afternoon, heavenly love.
yesterday is a cloudy day first, i busy with reading and blogging. after noon i quit from notebook and dozed awhile on bed. when i missing years in Nankai Univ., where i met Masheng heavenly, it started to drizzle, out of my surprise. in the night i sms exchanged a lot with a facebook girl friend, who from Guangdong, south China, but now study in Shanghai. it later turned into a loving chase. the rain continued all night. in the mornign today i continued to ask the girl about my love and possible marriage. she defied it. i then sorted my recent photos and video, esp. this morning of the drizzle, online album and locally, till late afternoon. now i was left alone with my cool world of waiting and solitary for the descend of my Japanese fiancee. that's fine. 

 wet ground in front yard of my past dad's old house.


the same video on facebook.
updated picasaweb album
 

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

retouched logo of my site, zhudajiu, for my hometown in the same title


Best regards,
benzradits first version finished years ago. after equipped with xara warez, and lots of fonts, i felt i can improve it with more stunning effect. this morning is a cloudy day in my hometown, where i had spent near a month in it. the task cost me 2 hours or more. i got 2 versions, with which i don't want missing any one. so i uploaded both new versions to my google sites and google groups. blogger.com and blogspot.com still being blocked within China under its surveillance, so i can't update my blogs on google blog portal with the new version.

ok, its a nice silent morning. only i worked in the front yard of my past dad's old house. villagers all busy in field, for rapeseed due to harvest. last night i taught my old mother a lesson, when she in anxious and tried to flatter neighbor wives to eat some shrimp my nephew gave to me. i don't allow others partake my food without my consent. no one in the world can put a finger print on the glory of my dad, or my Royal, under God's shine. later i chatted with my baby, warren zhu, the God of universe, and the hope of China, online. i tried to vendor some kid games on verycd.com but likely baby these days interests on pc games deceased. in the dawn i dreamed of tribes or minorities like Uygur,  and the problem to join them or merging them into mine. the unavoidable conflicts including the believes, let any changes hard to born. after woke up, i decided to stay in the faith of one world of God, the Mightiest and the only creator, who never has problem nor difficulty.

last time my baby urged me to return to Qiqihar, where my old social relation still in work. now i have no problem to stay here till end of August this year. its my time to live with Masheng, my second wife and the crowned Queen of my Empire. i also asked girl zhou and girl of Taiwan join my honeymoon this moment. i will see their houses in Wuhan, Beijing, Shanghai, prepared for me soon.

below is my works just finished.

zhudajiu3.png
logo v3 for site zhudajiu朱大九——龙泉之眼 at http://zhu.be21zh.org
zhudajiu2.png
logo v2 for site zhudajiu朱大九——龙泉之眼  at http://groups.google.com/group/zhudajiu

Sunday, May 17, 2009

an aged villager's funeral: hometown journey

i had reported the passing granny, Dai in family name, in my previous twitter. yesterday her funeral held by her offspring. granny Dai is the wife of an zhu, who passed earlier than her many years without any child, in the village. she is a short and a bit fat woman, generally hospitable. she and her husband adopted a girl, who married her neighbor in the village, 3th son of a family with 3 sons and a daughter. so all the offspring of her son-in-law and his relatives joined the funeral and mourning as her sons. its in a long time my first time to witness a village funeral, and many moments in the process when i shot photos and videos for the event i preview the funeral of my past dad, whose funeral i missed and never assured all went right. i many times felt would cry but my camera let me engaged. its also likely my first performance in front of my countryside patriots since my falling into madness several years ago, after so many years they seeing me as the gifted and looked up in expectation of achievement, for i was enrolled by a prodigious university, Nankai Univ., in China, first in the history of zhudajiu, my hometown village. nowadays i really in broad view of my world, and devoted to lead God's glory and sovereign on the land, as well as the nation in my coming kingdom of 1109 years. in the days since my return to the village, i really felt my Royal was inspired by the world that belongs to me, not all the folks in the village, for i perceived so many evil eyes and souls in the village, esp. the blood connected pals, who shown lots of hatred toward my past dad and my old family. God surely let anyone has his goal and pleasure of self-realization independently, but leader like my past dad, should not be hated for his brilliance. only ill hearts and hatreds-filled persons can do. i really saw in these days that God's glory is the kind that its perfection never seen before on the earth, its just too perfect to leave any dent of trifle or meaningfulless among men. it lasts every moments and flashs like beam of light, flows across like breeze in a pulse.

half of yesterday was in rain. it started soon after the coffin left the square of the village and after i sorted photos and videos just shot in front yard of my past dad's house, via my notebook and camera. it just so auspicious for me, for i love rain, love baptism, love seeing Masheng rest herself and girl lü in duty in the Sun's setting. i love the constrain rain brings to too  bustle persons and ceases to enjoy the superpower of the nature. some women watched my photos, then all cooking utilities moved to my dad's old house, and since them lots of villages busy in the house, cooking, arranging, or watching my works on tv or web in my bedroom.

its a nice day, the daughter-in-law of my elder brother brought her webcam to me and i succeeded to install it. my baby still in these days loathed to talk with me, but i felt i can have more chance to talk with him and his mother online.

ok, below is my works for the funeral, which also reminded me one of my teacher, Daijun (in same family name of the past granny), whose fond on me envied by my alumni including those scores in subjects higher than mine and generally more important in class ( they told me later when i in college, while i never felt the fond when i cramming myself for college entrance exam and in depression), in my senior middle school, Huanggang Middle School.


Ps: shits! the China surveillance now blocked blogger.com and all my blogspot blogs. i had problem to post my album in flash and 4 videos. what they wan to hell do?